


Pride & Prejudice & Aliens

by Silverine



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pride and Prejudice Fusion, Background Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, I'm Sorry Jane Austen, M/M, Minor Hunk/Shay (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 08:27:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14374845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverine/pseuds/Silverine
Summary: "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single humanoid creature in possession of a prosperous asteroid, mine, interplanetary business or similar fortune must be in want of a partner."The Koganes have five children and Mrs. Krolia Kogane is pretty sure that her eldest, Shiro, can conquer Mr. Holt's golden heart, securing the future of the rest of her offspring. It is quite a shame, though, that Mr. Holt's siblings and his rich, proud friend from Daibazaal, Mr. Lotor, don't share his agreeable manners... But Keith, the Kogane's second son, may teach him a lesson or two in the way.AKA, the AU nobody asked for, but if they did it with zombies, WHY NOT ALIENS?





	Pride & Prejudice & Aliens

**Author's Note:**

> This is a crack fic. Though, for a crack fic, I'm investing way too much time on it, but you would never believe the amount of bullshit I can pull for the sake of procrastinating.  
> I hope Jane Austen in heaven can forgive me for butchering her most renowned novel. This was inspired by the BBC series that I've been rewatching for the 934th time this week. Also, sorry to the keitor fandom for this first 'contribution'.  
> Do NOT expect this to be on character. I assigned the characters in the most self indulgent way possible, let's see if you can distinguish them all after the slaughter. Also, places and events have been modified so much it's barely legal, but they still talk as stiff as my non-english-native-speaker ass could manage.  
> So uhm, well... enjoy? I hope?

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single humanoid creature in possession of a prosperous asteroid, mine, interplanetary business or similar fortune must be in want of a partner.

However little known the feelings or views of such a creature may be on their first entering a society, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding clans, cells or families that they are considered the rightful property of any lucky member of their offspring.

“Dear,” said Mrs. Krolia Kogane to her husband one day “Have you heard that the Senfama mine and estate are let at last?”

"Uh... no," replied Mr. Kogane, too busy reading his holographic screen.

"Mrs. Kova was there and she told me all about it”

His husband didn’t say anything.

“Come on, do you not want to know who has taken it? No? You know I will tell you anyway,” Krolia hissed. Mr. Kogane faintly smiled.

"Who took it?" he said, surrendering.

"She said it has been taken by a young man of large fortune from Earth, I guessed you would be most interested,” she said, looking at his human husband appreciatively.

“And what is his name?”

“Holt, she told me."

"Married, promised, unconventional, transcendent link... whatever other alien link I am forgetting?"

"Apparently conventional and single, dear. Ahh finally, a single man of large fortune! Four or five thousand gac a deca-phoeb! Good news for our children…"

"How so?" asked Mr. Kogane, looking up at last.

"PLEASE. A rich human? Single? Right in this colony on Arus? Of course I want him linked to one of our children if he is any good. SO, you MUST visit him with them as soon as he arrives," replied Mrs. Kogane, showing her fangs in a satisfied smile.

"I think you have more talent for those things than me, you take them," replied her husband, raising an eyebrow "Although I am afraid Mr. Holt may like you the best of the party."

"Aw, dear, you flatter me. But you are the only human I have ever met who was not intimidated when seeing me for the first time. That is why you should go," Krolia said in the purring, sweet tone she used to ask favors from her husband.

"And what makes you think that he is going to pick one of our children to marry? They are all terrible anyway," Mr. Kogane muttered. Krolia's ears and hair bristled.

"Do NOT try me! You know very well how delicate my nerves are," growled Mrs. Kogane, not ‘nervous’ at all. Her husband smiled.

Mr. Kogane was quite an unconventional human, to say the least. A scientist at heart, he worked for the Earth Galaxy Garrison as a geologist, but never looked interested in going back to his own planet, even less after he married. After twenty-three deca-phoebs of marriage, his Galra wife still had trouble understanding the subtleties of his dark human humor. Despite this, they led a peaceful life, after she abandoned her passion for intergalactic battles to settle in ‘Naxzela’, the outpost and estate the Empire assigned her to in the small, multicultural colony of Arus, where they were important citizens and absolutely nothing violent happened ever. Therefore, bored before such lack of action, Mrs. Kogane only concern became to strengthen their five children, and get them a rich and hopefully equally strong partner to take them away from there.

Krolia sat down violently on her favorite sofa and her five children came through the door.

"Is something wrong, mamma?" asked Shiro, the eldest son. They were back from their training session and the other four scattered in the seats, receiving bottles that Shiro was passing them.

"Your father, as always, trying to drive me crazy," she growled.

"I wonder if Mr. Holt is interested in sparring sessions," Mr. Kogane wondered.

"Who is Mr. Holt?" asked Keith, the second child. His younger sisters Acxa, Zethrid and Ezor shrugged at the same time. Zethrid cracked her neck loudly.

"Please, Zethrid, refrain from making your weird noises now!" Krolia snapped, while her daughter looked at her nonchalantly.

"He's the new owner of Senfama mine, Keith," his father replied.

"As if you care, you do not even want to greet him. He will meet every single creature in this planet before us, and it will be too late... Whatever, he is a pure human, I bet he is a weakling anyway," grunted Krolia, crossing her arms and legs.

"I am sorry to hear that. Iverson just wrote me that I have a meeting with him tomorrow. I guess I do not need to be particularly kind anymore," replied Mr. Kogane, looking at his screen again.

Krolia leaped up, taking a cushion.

"Why-are-you-like-this!" she said, hitting Mr. Kogane's back with every syllable, while her husband laughed "You enjoy getting on my nerves!"

"Honey, believe me, I have nothing but respect for your nerves, they have been accompanying me for twenty deca-phoebs at least.”

He stood up, stretching, and added “Zethrid, dear, I guess you can crack your neck all you want now."

All his children smiled in complicity. Krolia ignored them, fired up.

"Well, well. Children, your father will meet Mr. Holt and make us acquaintances. He comes from Earth, we must show him that here on Arus there are many reasons to stay," she said, in her commanding voice.

The children looked at each other. First it would be best to see if Mr. Holt was actually worth the effort.

 

* * *

 

After the meeting, all his children and his wife tried to get a satisfactory description of Mr. Holt from Mr. Kogane, without much success. The only thing they got from him was that he was young and a skilled engineer. Therefore, they had to accept the second-hand intelligence of their neighbor, Mrs. Kova, who informed them that Matthew Holt was a wonderfully handsome man, extremely agreeable, besides being rumored that he was a talented fighter. This last part caught all Mrs. Kogane's interest but, to her disappointment, her intentions of inviting him to dinner would not prosper: he was obliged to be in Earth for the next few days, unable to accept the honour of their invitation and promising to return in time for the next assembly in the company of more people.

The fears that he brought a fiancé or any kind of competition with him were unfounded. On the day of the assembly, Mr. Holt entered the great hall of the Arus Galaxy Garrison accompanied only by a small group of people: his younger siblings Katie and Hunk, Hunk’s wife Shay and another young Galra gentleman.

Mr. Holt was indeed good-looking and gentlemanlike; he had a pleasant countenance, a charming laugh and easy, unaffected manners. His siblings were both fine humans, with an intellectual air. His sister-in-law, Shay, had the quiet beauty of Balmeran’s people, but his friend, Mr. Lotor, soon drew the attention of the room by his fine, tall person, beautiful features and noble mien, crowned by a long, silky white mane.  As soon as he entered the hall, rumors began to run among the room: apparently, he was half Galra, half Altean and the heir of a great fortune in the distant planet Daibazaal, with a rent of at least ten thousand gac per deca-phoeb.

"Oh, I did not expect to see another Galra around here. Less one this handsome... and wealthy," Krolia smiled, practically rubbing her hands. She was there alone with her five children, her husband stayed home.

"Mamma..." Keith rolled his eyes wearily.

"He comes from Daibazaal! That is quite impressive. Elite, even," Krolia muttered, while Shiro shook his head, disgusted by the murmurs around the place.

Just then, Mr. Kova approached them in company of Mr. Holt and the lady gave a discreet pat on their backs to her two eldest sons reminding them to straighten up, showing off their full height.

"Mrs. Kogane, Mr. Holt has expressed his desire become acquainted with you and your children, after being presented to your husband before," said Mr. Kova in his typical grim voice. Mr. Holt made a polite Galra salute, which pleased Krolia very much.

"How kind, sir! I am Krolia. These are my eldest sons, Shiro and Keith." Both boys made a brief bow that Mr. Holt, in the human fashion, returned.

"And over there are my daughters, Acxa, Zethrid and the youngest, Ezor... she is the one doing the current exhibition."

Everyone looked at the center of the room. Ezor, as always, had took the opportunity to show off her acrobatic skills, to everyone’s pleasure.

"Impressive," replied Mr. Holt, smiling. His gaze went back to the Koganes, veering off to the eldest son, who returned the smile with his usual gentleness.

"Do you enjoy this kind of assemblies, or do you prefer more refined activities like dancing?" Krolia asked.

"Both," Mr. Holt said sincerely. "I really enjoy fighting as much as dancing. In general, I like social gatherings, otherwise silence makes me uncomfortable."

Although Keith Kogane did not share his opinion, he felt immediate sympathy for Mr. Holt. He was lively and unreserved, and his eyes had not deviated from his beloved older brother since he had rested them in him. He smiled to himself. The man had good taste, at least.

"Well, if I’m allowed to say so myself, our family is particularly known in this colony for producing fine fighters. My Shiro, here, remains unbeatable as a gladiator in this district. And, besides, he also enjoys dances, is not it, dear?" Krolia said, proudly.

"Mamma..." Keith warned, in a whisper, while Shiro smiled uncomfortably. But Mr. Holt seemed delighted.

"Well, if Mr. Kogane is not engaged, may I be so bold as to claim the next exhibit?" he asked, with a slight blush on his cheeks.

"I am not engaged," Shiro replied, with a kind smile that intensified Mr. Holt's blush.

"Wonderful," said Krolia, and then turned his gaze to the gentleman behind Mr. Holt. "And you, sir? Do you share the same predisposition?"

Matthew took a few seconds to take off his eyes from Shiro and, awkwardly, hurried to add:

"Uh-- I beg your pardon. May I present my friend, Mr. Lotor." Mr. Lotor bowed respectfully.

"A pleasure, sir. Would you be willing to participate in the exhibitions as well?" Mrs. Kogane asked.

"My apologies, madam, but I rarely take part," replied the gentleman.

"Oh, let this be one of those ocassions, then. You will hardly find so many good partners and so much energy elsewhere," Krolia assured.

With a half-edged smile and a silent Galra farewell gesture, Mr. Lotor turned and headed straight to a corner of the room. Embarrassed, Mr. Holt excused himself with a last nervous smile and went after him.

Although Krolia expressed quite loudly her desire to bury the head of Mr. Lotor on the arena herself, she soon realized that she was not the only one, for he was soon discovered to be proud, to be above his company and above being pleased. Not even his large estate in Daibazaal could save him from the antipathy of the hall, and people soon deemed him unworthy of being compared to Mr. Holt.

"I assume you no longer find him that handsome?" Keith teased his mother.

"Not at all. On closer inspection he even seems weak. Nothing like his charming friend, did you see how he invited Shiro to fight, despite being shorter? Wonderful!" sighed Mrs. Kogane, making her younger son smile, who noticed that, even from opposite sides of the room, Shiro and his new acquaintance still made eye contact.

The exhibition assemblies were Keith's favorites. People were less pompous than in balls and more willing to show their skills as wrestlers, something he enjoyed very much. Although Shiro was undeniably the best, he and his sisters were quite skilled too. Usually, he could count on being swiftly challenged, but that night he was obliged to sit down and watch, by the scarcity of willing fighters. He contented himself with enjoying his brother's exhibition against Mr. Holt. They fought without any instrument and to first strike. Mr. Holt proved, to the delight of the whole room, to be agile, smart and much stronger than he appeared, using his frame in his favor, almost taking Shiro by surprise. Unfortunately for the gentleman, the eldest Kogane had in his favor both his strong human build and Galra speed: he grabbed him from the same leg with which he was going to strike the winning blow, and he gracefully pinned him down, with his habitual elegance. They both smiled at each other as they stood up, Mr. Holt acknowledging his defeat without a hint of resentment. On the contrary, he seemed delighted, formally asking Shiro for a training session together.

From his position, Keith could see Mr. Holt walk from the arena to the place where his friend Lotor was standing, near enough for him to listen, arms crossed, observing everything as if he would rather be anywhere else.

"Come on, Lotor," Mr. Holt said. "I must have you participate. I hate to see you standing about by yourself in this stupid manner, as if you had never fought in your life"

"I certainly shall not. You know I do not like to show my skills to strangers, at such an assembly it would be unbearable. Your siblings are not taking part either, asking anyone else in this room would be a punishment." His voice was imprinted with boredom.

"Good cosmos, I cannot believe you. I swear, I never met with so many pleasant and strong people as this evening, I would even dare to say that it is one of the best assemblies I have attended," retorted Mr. Holt. Keith smiled at the kind comment.

"YOU fought with the most pleasant and strong in the room," said Lotor.

"To be honest... I am shocked. I never saw before such a combination of kindness and strength. Nor those eyes..." Mr. Holt seemed distracted for a moment looking again at the eldest Kogane, but quickly recovered. "But look, right there, sitting down behind you is his brother. They told me that he is also very skilled, and you will not deny that he is quite handsome. Do let me ask Mr. Kogane to introduce him to you, so you stop making a fool of yourself."

"Which do you mean?" Lotor asked. Keith quickly stared at the arena, pretending not to listen, his heart a little agitated. Lotor paused and then, coldly, added:

"Tolerable, I suppose. But he does not look strong nor handsome enough to tempt me, and I am in no humor to entertain people that nobody has challenged yet. You are wasting time with me, Matt, go enjoy the company of your new sparring partner."

Keith felt a prick of anger, sure he could break him in less than ten seconds in the arena, if the proud lord had any courage. However, he decided against devoting more time to a ridiculous little fancy lord born in some dark corner of the galaxy that, in addition, had already fallen into disfavor with the rest of the guests. He contented himself with looking for Narti, the Kova’s daughter and his best friend, who after listening to his experience with Lotor expressed her crude opinion in sign language, in a less than cordial way. It was possible that the gentleman in question understood said language, given his expression, but Keith only gave him a sly smile, and did not look at him again for the rest of the evening. He had no intention of hiding his displeasure for him, anyway.

The rest of the evening passed without major incidents. Keith finally had the opportunity to prove himself against a fascinated Mr. Holt, who seemed to never get tired, ending in a friendly draw. Mr. Holt's siblings looked at the exhibitions from afar and none of them seemed very inclined to fight, especially the younger sister, who analyzed the room with hawk eyes that said, very clearly, that none of the guests seemed interesting to her.

And, in fact, she let her party know her opinion when they were back home. Slyly, she asked Mr. Lotor:

"I assume, Lotor, given your face, that you did not enjoy the assembly."

He only gave a polite nod, while looking at the screen in front of him.

"I swear I do not understand you. I cannot remember the last time we met so many interesting people," complained Matt, happily exhausted, leaning back in his favorite chair.

"You astonish me by how easy you are to please. But I suppose you think so because you were glued all evening to the most interesting of them all," replied Lotor, coldly.

" _Interesting_? Come on! You have to admit he looked like one of those ancient human demigods," Matt said, sighing. Katie looked at her brother Hunk, who was sitting at the table by his wife’s side. She wasn’t paying attention at all.

"Without a doubt, Mr. Shiro Kogane _is_ an outstanding person. Quite agreeable and polite..." Hunk started to say, moving his hands uncomfortably.

"... unlike the rest of his family," his sister Katie finished the idea. Matt straightened and looked at everyone angrily.

"Why do you like to live like that, judging everyone around you? Especially you, Lotor. I will never understand why are you so determined to disapprove everything that comes your way."

"I could say the same about your dedication to approve everything and everyone."

"I bet you would not think so if you had the kindness to speak with the Koganes, especially with Mr. Shiro's brother."

"The one with the mullet and the unpleasant look?" Katie asked, grimacing.

"Are you really one to talk about mullets and unpleasant looks, Pidgey dear?" countered his brother.

While the Holt siblings debated, Lotor remembered the second son of the Koganes. Certainly, his inferior constitution to that of his brother was not benefited at all by that unpleasant defiant look he flaunted, but those violet, piercing eyes at least could leave quite an impression.

 

* * *

 

The story in the Kogane house was not so different. Mr. Kogane had been working, but his wife would not spare any juicy detail.

"What a great assembly! And you missed it! Our Shiro was so admired. Mr. Holt was clearly fascinated, he fought twice, yes, TWICE with him, then once with Narti and I feared he would get tired, but no, then he fought with our Keith, and he kept going at it, which is quite impressive considering that he is a pure human..."

"I wish he did not have that much stamina, in that case," her husband muttered, bored.

"I am telling you, he is better than expected! I could not judge his siblings though, but they looked very elegant at least. Yes, good humans indeed…"

"How nice," Mr. Kogane said absentmindedly, without any interest.

"BUT HIS FRIEND... That... _Mr._ Lotor, as he calls himself. Evidently, coming from Daibazaal will not grant you education. He is the proudest, most horrid and rude creature who has set foot on this planet! Nobody liked him. He even dared to slight our Keith!"

His sisters laughed at him with no compassion.

"Oh wow. Someone slighted our Keith?" This time Mr. Kogane at least looked up from his screen with a frowning brow. Keith could not even open his mouth to respond that he did not care, because his mother interrupted him.

"I assure you, nothing was lost. I think you, Keith, should never grant him even a warm up."

"Not that I would. We will hardly cross another word anyway," said Keith, while Shiro smiled sympathetically.

In the room that both brothers shared they were finally able to speak freely, which they could not afford in front of their mother and sisters, always noisy and intrusive.

"He is just what a respectable human ought to be, I suppose," confided Shiro, cornered by Keith to give his honest opinion "He is strong, good-humored, lively... I never saw such friendly manners. He knew how to talk to any and all of the guests, no matter their species... Such good breeding."

"And you liked his face and stamina, too. I can tell," Keith teased him.

Shiro smiled. "I was very flattered by his asking me for a rematch right there. I did not expect it."

"Oh, that is good because it shows that he enjoys the game more than winning, considering you crushed him both times. I think you were too soft, in fact, but I forgive you because you have liked worse."

"Keith!"

"I am worried about his choice of family and friends, though. Well, he could not choose his siblings, I guess..."

"Did not you like them?"

"Not at all. Their manners are quite different to his. Did you see the short one? She looked at us like we were something gross sticking to her boots. The other brother only had eyes for his wife, he barely spoke, he seemed distrustful of everyone."

"Maybe at first sight, but I talked to both of them and they are very nice. Both are in charge of the technical part of the mine, Mr. Holt sees everything else. They are a brilliant family."

"Eh," Keith shrugged "Maybe they will find us too primitive for their brilliant minds, then." Throwing one of his shoes with a single movement of his foot, he added, "and now we already know Mr. Lotor’s opinion. At least of me."

"Oh, that was terrible of his part. Do you want me to challenge him next time?" Shiro asked, stroking his younger brother's hair with a frown.

"No, what a waste. You have to spend your time with your _beloved_ Mr. Matt Holt," Keith said, earning himself a tackle that threw him on his back on the bed, laughing. But then, he had to blink to distinguish what he saw on the ceiling: a familiar face, the only thing that prevented him from letting out a gasp of surprise.

"Narti? How long have you been there? I told you not to climb the window anymore," Keith scolded his best friend.

For all answer, she took off from the ceiling and landed in front of both brothers. From a pocket she took out a holographic invitation. Keith read it quickly.

"Your parents are organizing another assembly next week? So soon…" he said in a bored voice, but when he looked up he saw that Shiro's face had lit up. He smiled and made a covert gesture to his friend, who raised one of her thumbs in approval.

 

**Author's Note:**

> So... uhm. Could you distinguish all of them?  
> Let's bet on who will Lance be, shall we?  
> In the improbable case you are not familiarized with P&P, I don't wanna spoil the plot, so the tags may change accordingly later. Sorry if any of you were misguided by them, please give me any input about it, I suck at tagging.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! You can hate on me all you want via [Tumblr.](http://www.silverineontherun.tumblr.com)


End file.
